Mental Health and Coping with Stress and Difficulty with Ryan Larkey
Ryan Larkey is a licensed therapist and substance abuse counselor who has been working with Soberalski Immigration Law over the last two years. We wanted to provide Ryan with some space to discuss his background, the services he provides, and the reasons this work is so important to him, in his own words:
As a psychotherapist, I meet with anywhere between 25 and 40 people a week to hold space, assess peoples’ functioning, provide support and work with clients on their journey of healing. I notice trends in mood and areas of concern that can relate to what is occurring in the outside world. Since the most recent presidential election, I have observed that the majority of clients I talk to report feeling anxious, afraid, angry, sad or preoccupied by what is “happening in the world’. The topic is difficult to avoid in sessions with clients, and likewise it appears difficult for folks to avoid confronting these concerns in their day to day lives.
May is Mental Health Awareness month, and it seems as good a time as any to talk about the effects of political stress and how exposure to current events, whether in the news, social media or in conversation, can impact our overall physical and mental wellbeing. Studies done during and just after the 2016 presidential election observed an increase in symptoms for people living with anxiety, depression and other mental health issues that was related to fears about politics. From my anecdotal experience, I absolutely see an increase in distress and issues in functioning with my clients who report feeling affected by current events. Some typical changes I observe are an increase in panic, concentration issues, sleeplessness, agitation, hopelessness, lack of pleasure and pessimism. A response I see in many folks is that they become excessively engaged in political discussions and seek updates about issues happening in the world, which usually leads to increased anxiety. It is also important to note that for folks in more marginalized communities or that may be more directly affected by policy changes, they are more likely to see greater increases in stress and anxiety. For instance, studies done on families with mixed immigration status during and after the 2016 elections, showed a significantly disproportionate increase in reports of anxiety.
In addition to supporting my clients, I am routinely asked by friends and folks in the community what to do with these complicated and difficult feelings that have been generated by current events. I have spoken about it so frequently, that I have developed a framework that I like to share with people to help identify the variety of ways we can manage mood, increase wellness, access support and feel empowered during times of difficulty.
The first step is validation of our own emotionally difficulty. It pains me greatly to hear people judging themselves or minimizing their emotional responses to difficult situations. As I often say, “that is a sure way to compound your own suffering.” Many people are struggling out there right now, and I suspect that our own response to a friend or co-worker who reported feeling stressed about world events would usually be one of sympathy or compassion. We usually wouldn’t tell a friend to “get over it”. In the same way, it is important that we validate our own emotional responses. It helps to recognize the context of our mood, so that we can tell ourselves “maybe it makes sense that I am feeling that way”. Or perhaps it can help to observe that other people are feeling affected, so “maybe I have a right to be equally affected.” Other validating responses may be more general, such as, “I have a right to my feelings” or “My feelings matter as much as anyone else’s.”
It can be helpful to pay attention to how much time we are thinking about and focusing on events happening in the world. When faced with difficult issues, many people may respond by seeking out as much information as possible to help themselves feel a certain amount of control and seek resolution. While it is certainly helpful to be engaged and informed, what I observe is that people that are stressed and anxious may overdose on information and discover that repeated exposure to news and discussions on current events can become counterproductive. I encourage people to be mindful of how much time they spend on social media and the internet reading about and discussing current events. This behavior can become somewhat compulsive and is similar to when we ruminate on issues that make us anxious. There is a part of us that is seeking some sort of answer or solution that will hopefully decrease our anxiety, but ultimately what we end up doing is increasing our anxiety while coming up with few answers. It can help to keep track of how we use the internet and social media. Do you check out the news as soon as you wake up? Are you scrolling on your phone before you go to sleep? Are you using time set aside to relax to read about and discuss current events? These are not healthy habits and it can be helpful to budget our time so that we get “enough” exposure to news to stay informed and then commit to focusing on other types of information. I encourage people to note how much time they spend thinking about current events. If it feels like it is hard to stop thinking about, or if you are feeling distracted, then I suggest you consider setting aside “worry time” to allow yourself to vent to yourself or write out your worries and then practice “putting them away” and moving on with your day. Regular practice of meditation or other mindfulness exercises can also be a great way to build our awareness of chronic worry and help redirect ourselves when we notice becoming distracted.
We tend to do best in most situations when we focus on what we can control. In early studies on how to induce depression or anxiety in animals, scientists would create situations in which no matter what an animal did, the outcome would be the same. For example, a mouse attempting to access food by moving a lever over and over again would eventually become frustrated and eventually exhibit symptoms of depression or anxiety. The result is the same for people that expend time and energy on situations in which they have no influence on the outcome. It makes sense that many people today are anxious and worried about things happening in this world and it is appropriate to have concerns for ourselves and people we care about. If we want to feel more empowered and find ways to decrease our distress, it becomes important to identify how we behaviorally respond to our concerns. The choices we have may be direct responses or indirect responses, however, it is important to identify meaning in the choices we make and recognize how our actions align with our own values and principles. This may mean engaging in more concrete responses such as educating yourself about certain issues, advocating for specific causes or directly contacting legislators to express your concerns. Less direct responses may include spending more time with people who share similar values, modeling behaviors you would like to see in the world or setting boundaries with people that engage in problematic behavior or speech. Whatever you may decides to do, it is helpful to remind yourself of your own principles and values. Remind yourself that you feel affected by current events because you care and this caring is an extension of your values and principles.
Studies indicate that in times of political upheaval and social unrest, connection to community can often be helpful in generating a sense of both physical and emotional wellness. People that tend to isolate, or spend more time around people that have vastly different values, tend to see increased issues in both physical and mental health. It can be comforting to spend time with people that share similar values. This also creates a space that can feel “safe” to discuss and talk about one’s own concerns and anxieties. For people who are directly affected by political concerns (such as immigrants or people in the transgender community), it may be a matter of literal safety from perceived threats in the world. There are a number of ways we can foster connection with other people, but the first step is to be intentional about making the time to reach out and allowing ourselves to reach out. Many clients I work with express shame around needing support and worry they are bothering others if they need to talk. I often reframe these worries by asking how it feels when people turn to us for support and if we judge others who need help. Usually, we don’t. There are a number of ways to reach out and it does not always require that we talk about our problems and concerns. Sometimes just texting or calling a friend to talk about a recent game or favorite t.v. show can provide the sense of connection we seek.
Our ability to tolerate and manage stress can be largely influenced by how well we are generally caring for ourselves. I always emphasize the importance of consistent self-care and the need to be aware of the mind-body connection. Routine stress can affect our physical health, and lack of attention to our physical needs can lead to being easily overwhelmed and poor brain functioning. This makes it so important to pay attention to the basics. I recommend that people maintain a consistent bedtime, get enough time to sleep and spend time at night calming the brain and body in preparation to sleep. What we eat and how routinely we eat can also affect stress levels and wellness. For folks dealing with chronic stress, I suggest eating routine small meals and avoiding highly processed foods (refined sugars, fast food) that can inflame the nervous system and affect blood sugar levels. Many people who struggle to sleep due to stress may consume caffeine during the day to compensate for lack of energy. This can create a cycle that actually worsens sleep and the effects of the caffeine can mimic the symptoms of anxiety and stress. Some people turn to alcohol as a means of relaxing and managing stress. This form of self-medicating can lead to dependency issues, and while it may help people fall asleep at night, it actually leads to more interrupted sleep and less quality sleep. Routine alcohol consumption also affects the brain’s ability to naturally regulate anxiety and stress.
When I work with clients, I always explain it is better to avoid crisis than to react to crisis. For this reason, I think it is really helpful to consider what sort of stress-reducing activities we can add to our routines to help reduce general stress levels and improve our sense of wellness. Personal preferences and capabilities may determine which stress-relieving strategies are the best option for an individual. Research around exercise indicates that routine cardio exercise is an effective way to reduce stress and manage disorders like anxiety and depression. Other activities such as meditation, yoga, mindfulness practice or journaling also may be helpful ways to center ourselves and “let go” of the stress we carry in our bodies. Sometimes, activities that we typically engage in may also be ways of working on our stress. This could include spending time outside, hanging out with friends, engaging in sports, prayer or making our favorite food. I recommend having a variety of options for stress-relieving activities and trying to schedule some of these activities into a weekly schedule to ensure we are making time to take care of ourselves.
Lastly, in this time, I also believe that it is important to maintain awareness of patterns in thinking that can lead to a sense of hopelessness and set intentions to cultivate hope. Many folks have valid reasons to be concerned how their futures could be affected by current political developments and this should not be minimized. There are some common ways of thinking that can exaggerate our emotional response to real stressors and make situations feel even less manageable. People that are very stressed or anxious often spend a lot of time imagining future outcomes and expecting things to end poorly. Often they are only able to imagine worst case scenarios and end up feeling as if the worst outcomes are the most likely outcomes. Anxious people often engage in “all or nothing” thinking in which they are only able to focus on negative information or negative aspects of situations so that a “week in which a bad thing happened” can become a “bad week”. This generalized way of thinking can tend to filter out the positive details (our successes, the things we can control, the things we can rely on, the relationships we value) and lead to an overly negative and fearful way of looking at the world. A helpful response to this is not denying the bad that does exist in the world, but working to create balance by noting what is going well, what we are grateful for and what is ok in the moment. Often, people can spend so much time anticipating what may happen in the future, they fail to recognize that, much of the time, they have exactly what they need in the present. Maintaining awareness of our thinking by checking in with ourselves throughout the day can help to notice any especially negative or fearful internal self-talk. Routine practice of mindfulness strategies or meditation can also be a great way to train ourselves to notice our own habits of unhelpful thinking styles.
Maintaining overall wellness and committing to personal emotional wellness requires a holistic approach where we maintain awareness in all areas of our life. The goal is to maintain awareness of mood and stress levels while seeking balance in how we use our time. During more difficult episodes in our lives, that may mean learning to be ok with making more time for ourselves, or reassessing expectations of ourselves and agreeing to “do less”. While current events in the world may be influencing many peoples’ sense of emotional wellbeing, one area in which we can find a sense of control is in our commitment to caring for ourselves. Making small, consistent changes in how we check in on ourselves and reach our for support can help create habits that will sustain us into future times when the world may feel less chaotic and more peaceful.
